Saturday, March 15, 2014

Psalms 143:10

Psalms 143:10
Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.

One of the things that was hardest for me when I truly began to discover my faith was that I had to let go of the idea that I was in control of everything.  I had to relinquish that I am not able to make plans that will absolutely take place.  I had to let go of my will and allow His will to become my will.  Man is that hard to do when you are a type A personality that likes to have all their ducks in a row!  I thought I had been doing a pretty good job of this until recently when I realized that I was falling back into that rut of planning out the next 50 years of my life.

This last week, since I have been jolted back to reality that God is the one with the true master plan, I have really been focusing on asking God to help me do His will rather than asking Him to make my will become reality.  I realize that I am truly in control only of how I react to what God's will is.  Things are going to happen in my life that are both good and bad.  I am able to choose to accept them all as God's will or to fight against them and continue to push my own will.  I am way to tired to try to fight!  Swimming upstream is way harder than going with the current.

Instead I ask that God help me to do His will, accept His will, and understand that there is nothing He will send me that isn't for my greater good.  I still ask for things but also am sure to add "if it be Your will".

Thanks for reading!

Busy Mommy Blogger

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Romans 8:28

Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Sometimes making the connection between what we know to be true and what we feel is difficult.  I know that God watches over me and my family at all times and that He always has the best of plans for us, even if we may have to trudge through difficult times to get there.  Logically I know this.  I know His plan is the right plan.  I know worry is senseless because He will always take care of me.  I know that if something bad happens in my life that it is not the end, it is only a beginning for something better and greater.  In my mind, I know these things.

So why is it that my heart still aches with worry?  Not always, not mostly, but, well at least for today.  For some reason, today, I am wrought with worry and concern for my unborn child.  I have no new information.  I don't know what the genetic test says, I haven't had any more ultrasounds.  But as a mother, carrying a helpless growing child, I am worried.  I want him to have the best life possible.  I want him to be able to run around with our other kids.  I want him to be able to add to the chaos at dinner and hear his cries in the middle of the night.  I want to laugh when he is silly and frown when he is naughty.  I want so desperately to know that he is going to be ok.

I have been fine all week really.  I have put my faith in God and prayed and called on those I know to pray.  I know that all I can do for him right now is pray and have faith in God's plan for him.  But for some reason, today, I am overcome with worry and despite my prayers and devotion to the faith, can't seem to shake this worry out of my heart.  It's funny I suppose.  My husband and I are open to a large family, hopeful really.  Having lost babies in the past, I have left my heart open to however many children God is willing to bless us with.  When we found out we were expecting, we were overjoyed, even though the timing wasn't what we considered great, being right after my husband lost his job and was just starting a new one.  I had faith that God would provide for this new little bundle.

But, we both laugh at how much work our boys are and we would talk about how nice a little girl would be.  A little bit more of that calm energy in the house would be a good thing.  But now, just hoping he will be ok, I see how silly it is to hope for a specific gender.  I would gladly take a hundred more boys if they would all be healthy.  I know that God has already taught me something in this last week since the ultrasound.  I know he has helped me grow in my prayer life and in the faith.  He has shown me that in my times of sorrow, worry, and frustration, that I cling more to my faith than I ever could have imagined.  For that, I am thankful. 

Those of you reading, I humbly ask that you put my son into your prayers.  I know God is good and that there is no miracle to large for Him to accomplish.

Thanks for reading!

Busy Mommy Blogger

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Hebrews 7:25

Hebrews 7:25
Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.


Lately, having received concerning news from the ultrasound dr, it has become more and more clear what is truly important.  Not that I didn't know before, but it's funny how you worry only about the things that are truly necessary after receiving bad news.  I'm a daydreamer, always have been, and it's not that I long for anything, but I do daydream about what life would be like if.....I'm very happy how life is right now, but it hasn't stopped me from daydreaming. 


Now, I see how silly those daydreams really are.  Why sit around amusing my brain with different "what if" scenarios when I have concrete things going on right now to concern my thoughts with.  I put little concern into the material things in my life, but that doesn't mean that I don't sometimes day dream about what if I had more.  I could care less to imagine my life with more things, more money, less financial difficulty.


I can't say I'll never daydream again, but I do know that I really get no pleasure from doing it and it does nothing for my relationship with God.  Even though I know I don't long for more, it would appear to Him that I do, if I'm willing to spend my time wasting away in a daydream.  There is very little that matters to me.  My faith and relationship with God, first and foremost.  My family and loved ones.  Spreading the word of God and his glorious message to others.  Other than that, what else matters?  With Him I can do anything.  I will never want.  I will always be taken care of.  Even if the outcomes aren't always what I had "daydreamed" of.  His plan is better.  And He has already shown me that out of great sadness/disappointment comes great joy.


I trust in Him.  I want to be closer to Him every day and am working hard to improve all aspects of my faith life so that I can be as open to Him as humanly possible so that I can spend my forever in eternal bliss.  I guess the next bad habit I will have to tackle is my talent to worry.  There should be no worry in this life with Him.  I'll be working on that, but at least I've been able to kick my daydreaming to the curb!


P.S.  A special thank you to Relevant Radio and Drew Mariani for reading my email of intention for the praying of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.  The fact that he chose my email out of the numerous emails he receives each day was touching.  I felt blessed knowing everyone listening was praying for our little baby and could not hold in my emotion even after the praying of the chaplet had finished.  Thank you!


Thanks for reading!


Busy Mommy Blogger

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Psalms 130:5

Psalms 130:5
I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope.


Hope.  I love that word.  It tells us that anything is possible as long as we maintain our faith.  Hope is what gets us through each day, the easy ones and the difficult ones.  Hope is what keeps our spirits up when facing a seemingly uphill climb.  It keeps us optimistic about the future.  Hope is what draws us to our faith, to mass, to confession, to prayer.  Hope is what keeps us believing that this life is not the end but that eternal life is the goal.


Without hope, what a sad, pitiful world we would live in.  I can't even imagine a life without hope.  I can only try to instill in my children this beautiful word, hope.  I want them to know that there is always hope, no matter how dark.  No matter how far we may have fallen away from our faith, from our path, from our core beliefs.  Hope is always there, waiting to be let into our hearts.  God always has hope for us, His children, that we will drop our selfish ways and choose to live the way that He implores us to.  And we too, should maintain the hope that God will always be there for us when we are ready to accept His call.


Thanks for reading!


Busy Mommy Blogger



Monday, March 10, 2014

Ephesians 1:7

Ephesians 1:7
In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace.


Lent is such a great time in the liturgical year.  It reminds us of that ever uncomfortable sacrament of confession.  You know, it's that sacrament that you have to choose to do, on your own time, on a weekend day, during which you could be doing something far less awkward, humbling and embarrassing.  It's the one sacrament that reminds us of how imperfect we are and how much we need His grace in our lives in order to reach a life eternal.  It's the one sacrament that is easiest to sweep under the rug and say we will make time for next weekend.


Confession is also the one sacrament that allows us to fully let Jesus into our hearts, ask His forgiveness and receive it.  It brings us back to the truth that we are all flawed and He knows that, and He still loves us and wants us to be with Him when this life is over.  Every time I leave confession, I feel lighter, more optimistic and ready to be a more perfect version of myself that God wants me to be.  I also look at others in my life with less judgment and more understanding, having just acknowledged all of my own short comings.


I once became frustrated that I felt I was having difficulties with the same things and needing to confess the same things over and over.  I asked a priest if this meant that I wasn't really changing and he told me that God understands when we come and confess that we have true remorse and a desire to change.  He also knows that change doesn't happen overnight, it takes time.  And as long as I was truly trying to better myself and avoid these same pit falls, God would be willing to forgive me when I slipped up.


I often wish that non-Catholics understood the sacrament of confession better.  I feel angry and frustrated every time I hear someone say how ridiculous the act of confession is.  "Well, I can just do whatever I want, confess, be forgiven, and then go right back to doing the same thing all over again.  What a joke!"  Uuuuggghhhh!  I want to explain to everyone what it truly means to confess your sins, how intent and true remorse play into a confession and being absolved.  I do my best to give a polite explanation that doesn't go "too deep", but I know that these people often aren't interested in what this sacrament really means.  It's too bad though.  What a beautiful world this would be if we would all humbly bring ourselves to God and acknowledge our imperfectness and beg for His forgiveness....


Thanks for reading!


Busy Mommy Blogger

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Psalms 100:4, 5

Psalms 100:4, 5
Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise.  Give thanks to Him, bless His name.  For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting and His faithfulness to all generations.


There is always something to be thankful for.  While I was lying in the dr's office having my ultrasound last week, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by how blessed we are to be having another baby!  My three year old and one year old were being incredibly difficult but all I saw was that little baby on the screen, that amazing little heart beating so fast.  I got up from the table I was lying down on and got ready to go, expecting a routine conversation with the dr about the ultrasound.  Instead she hit me with some concerns and my heart dropped into my stomach.


My husband became emotional and sick but I immediately went into "mommy" mode.  What do all these things mean for today, tomorrow, and the long term?  What can we do now?  What is our next step?  I immediately thought, not about how upset I was that there might be a very serious problem, but that I am so blessed.  I can't explain how or why, but I thought about how blessed I am to have four beautiful children and that this baby is a blessing no matter what!


After focusing on the medical aspects of the situation, I immediately began contacting those I know who are strong in the faith for their prayers and advice.  I got some wonderful advice!  I was told about different saints to pray to, medals to have blessed, services to attend, prayers to begin, etc.  Again, I feel that God is good!  He is leading me to a more spiritual life and helping my prayer life grow.  This will forever change me, in a positive way.  I have already grown and will continue to do so.  I pray that God heals His son but also that if it is not His will to heal, that He help me to accept His will and always be thankful and see the positive.


Thanks for reading!


Busy Mommy Blogger

Saturday, March 8, 2014

James 1:13, 14

James 1:13, 14
Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil and He Himself does not tempt anyone.  But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.

I think that I am guilty of this, thinking that God is the one tempting me and seeing how I react but truly I know that the devil would be the only one with something to gain by tempting me.  Maybe we place the blame on God because we don't want to believe that there is such evil out there, trying to bring us over to his side often.  Maybe we want to place the blame on God because then we can complain about our God.  Maybe we blame God because it is hard to comprehend how much He truly loves us and we find it hard to believe that He, in no way, would ever want to see us fail.

Whatever the reason, it is important for us to keep in mind that God may test our faith with some of the difficulties we face throughout our lives but that only the devil would tempt us to turn away from Him.  It reminds me of my four year old.  No matter what decision he makes, it is always someone else's fault.  If he chooses to throw a toy across the room, it is because we made him mad.  If he hits someone, it is because that person made him upset enough to hit.  If he gets a time out it is because we gave him one for no reason.

My son is plenty willing to take credit for a job well done however.  If I help him clean his room and then praise him for helping he will say something like, "Well, I just really wanted to have a clean room so I decided to clean it all up."  Children are rather self absorbed, that is just part of childhood but don't we often treat our relationship with God in the same way?  When something bad happens it is His fault, He "let" this happen to us.  He allowed a bad thing into our lives rather than us taking responsibility for giving into the temptation in front of us and inviting this "bad" thing into our lives. 

When we achieve successes in life, are we quick to take the credit, or do we say, "By the grace of God" I was able to achieve this.  Do we give the glory to Him or do we take it for ourselves?  Do we acknowledge that it is God who gives us the gifts, the vision, the drive, etc., to reach our goals?  People were surprised that Matthew McConaughey thanked God in his Oscars acceptance speech but I am truly shocked by anyone who doesn't thank God.  God is the one who makes all things possible.

Now some of you might be saying that there are bad things that happen in our life that are not due to giving in to temptation such as illness, job loss, extreme weather, etc.  Certainly we didn't invite these bad things into our life, they were put there by God, right?  Well, I suppose that is one way to look at it.  I guess I look at it as "life happens" and everything that occurs in our life is meant to help us grow in some way.  When I had three miscarriages in 12 months, I was angry at God, couldn't believe that someone who loves me would allow such misery to creep into my life.  But think about your own children.  Is there ever a time that you know they are about to encounter something unpleasant but you allow them to continue because you know that the only way they will learn and grow as a person is by experiencing it?  Well, I believe that to be true for us as well.  God could shelter us from every bad thing in life but He knows that we would never be able to grow and learn and improve as people.

Because of such a bad time in my life, I found my faith in God.  I have a solid marriage.  I know that there is good that comes from bad.  I know that God never abandons me.  I am again facing some difficulties, the drs. have some concerns with the little boy I am carrying, and all I can do is lean on my faith.  And I have to trust that God is going to heal this little boy or that if He doesn't that there is a purpose, something to be gained and learned, from that too.  The devil wants me to doubt Him.  I can feel him tempting me every day to not have faith, to think the worst, to curl up in my bed and cry.  But I am working very hard on turning more to my faith than I ever have before and by the grace of God, I will achieve success.

Thanks for reading!

Busy Mommy Blogger